Musings of a Chink-Banana

my dick is different from most guys as you have seen from porn movies, when most guys get erection their dicks go straight up in the air, sometimes extending upwards at an 180 degree angle, the with the dick almost adhering to the lower portions of their abdomen. but my dick has gotten a downward curvature, like one of the banana emojis. what I would call "negative Rimennian/Ricci curvature of elliptical saddle space" which is apparently what the curavature of our universe also is.   and this is the case even when I experience a full erection. 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 (imagine the above banan emoji rotated clockwise by 90 degrees is the curvature of my penis on full erection) this is a problem esp when I try to penetrate vagina I remember my first time was with a service provider, she got my boner going and then try to sit on top of it with her pussy to initiate sexual intercourse, when she tried to do that I got shooting pain, as if having a penis-fracture. goes

one of the most pressing stories that I want to tell is one involving the Chinese equivalent of match.com website called 2redbeans.com 2redbeans came out of a Tang-dynasty (618 common era to 907 common era) poem in which these red beans (of the edible type) were used as a token of romantic love between men and women (not sure if the beans were also placed into pussies to aid female masturbation). the name now got coopted to a Chinese online dating website geared mostly after Chinese expats living outside of china. so this story goes that my dad, who is desperate in his quest for the dream daughter-in-law, goes to the next chapter of his quest: taking it to a whole other level by doing, gasp, online dating! (imagine that he'd never taken it to the online dating level for the past 4 years due to his unfamiliarity with online dating). So i'm about to show you the "Chinese-style" online dating: my dad registers an account, in my name, on 2redbeans. my dad then found

Many people around me have heard my personal stories over the years and thought it hilarious and highly unusual (yet enjoyable and humorous) experience. They have encouraged me to write them out in the form of a blog. After many years of deliberation (or rather after having gone through tons of shit to come to where I am), finally decided to give this blog a shot. Some warnings: if you are expecting to find a well organized book or whatever, then this blog is not for you. If you are here looking for a grand narrative, fundamental enlightenment, epiphany, second coming of Jesus, life guidance, etc. etc. this blog is not for you. If you can't stand f-bombs, this blog is not for you. If you are prudish or Puritan in nature and cannot stand the sight or sounds of human sexuality in general, this blog is not for you. If you are generally very pent-up anal, can't take humours in any way shape or form (esp of peter Russell's variety), this blog is not for you. if you care very m